Summer-the Opening Belle

Plymouth's summer season kicked off last week end, just a few days short of the official opening day on June 21st. Along with a few thousand of our closest friends, we spent some enjoyable Sunday hours on the waterfront as a full complement of tourists (anyone who doesn't live in the 02360 zip code) enjoyed the sights and the fine weather. And lets be clear about tourists. Now that Plymouth apparently won't be morphing into Hollywood East anytime soon, tourism is America's Home Town's primary industry. The term "tourist" is absolutely not a pejorative. Tourists are our friends, ka-ching, ka-ching.

So to mark the new season, here are a few thoughts, observations and recommendations, geared toward making the season more enjoyable for all, or at least those who agree with us.

First, Plymouth should get rid of the Pilgrim Belle. Why anyone who thinks a Mississippi River - style paddle wheeler fits into the historic waterfront, especially when docked alongside the Mayflower II, is beyond us. Send this floating eyesore packing. The Town also needs to replace those parking fee machines like the ones in the lot in front of The Cabby Shack. First it takes your money, then it refuses to print a receipt, then you get an extra souvenir of your visit in the form of a parking ticket. This shouldn't be so hard.

We do not join with those who look down their noses at motorcycles and those that drive them. Most of these bikes are attractive, well-maintained and driven with care. There are a few bad apples, however, that need a whack upside the head; namely those bikers who think mufflers are something you wrap around your neck in winter. Nothing shatters a pleasant afternoon like some yahoo revving up his engine from hell, startling the tar out of all within a half mile radius. And while we are on the subject, someone needs to tell those few riders still looking to recapture the glory days of the Hell's Angels that the tough biker-gang look is at least a half-century out of date.

We will close with a few fashion tips designed to improve the general atmosphere. We understand that the shaved head look is "in", and it certainly implies an ease of care, but this look is not for everyone. Before you venture forth sporting a shiny dome, invest in a good mirror and give yourself a critical look. Remember, you can always wear a hat. Ditto for those into multiple facial piercings. If a mirror isn't in the cards, find a trusted friend with some fashion sense. Also, a sure bet for the most promising career path is that of a certified tattoo removal specialist, when, in just a few years, all these tattoo aficionados start to realize that these things really are permanent.

A more general recommendation to motorists: scrape those fading "Obama for president" stickers off your cars. In spite of the speed with which his presidency is melting down, there might still be time to establish some distance from your support of his election.

So happy summer to all and don't forget the big celebration of Plymouth's 400 year anniversary, in 2020. It's not too early to start making plans now, those T shirts are sure to be collector items.